Hello to my lovely readers,
This post is going to be more personal than usual, so if that isn’t your thing, feel free to click away and read some tutorials. I’ll even link to some of my favorites to make it easier for you:
- DIY Green Tea Scrub
- Homemade Glass Cleaner
- Kitchen Organization
- DIY Halloween Boo Shirt (it may be December, but I wore it just the other day)
All right- if you’re sticking with me, here goes.
I miss you! It’s been a long time since I’ve been posting regularly on the blog.
I usually try to stick to my main topics on the blog (green cleaning, natural beauty, crafts, and organization), but for some reason I’ve been having trouble finding inspiration within those categories. I still love and am passionate about them, and I’ve been doing lots of projects in the interim, but I haven’t been posting about them. And so I’ve been contemplating why that is.
For bloggers, there’s a lot of difficulty in separating your personal life from your professional life. The lines can get really blurry. I’ve had a hard time trying to find where the line should go. I could post all the time about every detail in my life, but then when would I actually live it?
At the same time, there is a desire to present a curated picture. You want to show off only the best parts of your life. So you find yourself living your life like it’s a performance. Sure, my blog is about me, but it’s about the version of me that I show to you. I feel like in trying to create the best me to present on the blog I’ve lost the inspiration that I have to write. I’ve been lost between the desire to live my life fully without stepping back to take pictures all the time and wanting to show off the best of me and my family, and it’s left me feeling like nothing I write is right.
And there’s also another reason that I haven’t been posting often on the blog, and that is my health. You’ve probably noticed that I write about living with a chronic illness from time to time, and that’s because it’s a very big part of my life. I live with an illness called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, or POTS. Basically my autonomic nervous system has a mind of it’s own and likes to do silly things like make my heart beat way too fast or make me feel like I’ve run a marathon when I walk to the kitchen. In addition I also get migraines, which can really knock me out.
Living with a chronic illness can be very unpredictable, and I go through good and bad phases. And I’ve been having a rough go of it for a while now. We’ve had crazy weather this year, which definitely exacerbates my symptoms, but sometimes I just have times when for whatever reason my symptoms are worse than usual. Some days I can wake up and feel relatively like a normal functioning human being, but some days I wake up and can barely get out of bed. And lately I’ve been having more of the bad days than good. I seem to be on the upswing now, but it hasn’t been a great time.
I’ve made my peace with my illness but I’ve never gotten good at talking about it. Writing about it on the blog definitely helps with me learning to communicate about my illness, but I try not to talk about it unless I have to.
Sometimes I feel like two people- one who is optimistic and energetic and loves going out and doing things, and one who just wants to stay home and take a nap. And honestly, I think that is something that most people can relate to, whether or not they have a chronic illness. We all try to present our best selves to the world, but we’re not our best selves all the time.
Lots of bloggers will tell you that there is a lot of pressure to present your best self on the blog. The less I feel like my best self, the less I feel like I can share my projects with people.
So, enough of that. I’m me, and I’m not always my best. I’m going to be getting back into blogging, and I’m going to share the things that inspire me.
I hope that you’ll like what I decide to write about now, and I’m going to try to be even more true to myself and my passions. And I’m excited!
Lots of love from your fellow procrastinator,