This post is going to be more personal than usual, so if that isn’t your thing, feel free to click away and read some tutorials. I’ll even link to some of my favorites to make it easier for you:

• DIY Green Tea Scrub
• Homemade Glass Cleaner
• Kitchen Organization
• DIY Halloween Boo Shirt (it may be December, but I wore it just the other day)

All right- if you’re sticking with me, here goes.

I miss you! It’s been a long time since I’ve been posting regularly on the blog.

I usually try to stick to my main topics on the blog (green cleaning, natural beauty, crafts, and organization), but for some reason I’ve been having trouble finding inspiration within those categories. I still love and am passionate about them, and I’ve been doing lots of projects in the interim, but I haven’t been posting about them. And so I’ve been contemplating why that is.

For bloggers, there’s a lot of difficulty in separating your personal life from your professional life. The lines can get really blurry. I’ve had a hard time trying to find where the line should go. I could post all the time about every detail in my life, but then when would I actually live it?

At the same time, there is a desire to present a curated picture. You want to show off only the best parts of your life. So you find yourself living your life like it’s a performance. Sure, my blog is about me, but it’s about the version of me that I show to you. I feel like in trying to create the best me to present on the blog I’ve lost the inspiration that I have to write. I’ve been lost between the desire to live my life fully without stepping back to take pictures all the time and wanting to show off the best of me and my family, and it’s left me feeling like nothing I write is right.

And there’s also another reason that I haven’t been posting often on the blog, and that is my health. You’ve probably noticed that I write about living with a chronic illness from time to time, and that’s because it’s a very big part of my life. I live with an illness called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, or POTS. Basically my autonomic nervous system has a mind of it’s own and likes to do silly things like make my heart beat way too fast or make me feel like I’ve run a marathon when I walk to the kitchen. In addition I also get migraines, which can really knock me out.

Living with a chronic illness can be very unpredictable, and I go through good and bad phases. And I’ve been having a rough go of it for a while now. We’ve had crazy weather this year, which definitely exacerbates my symptoms, but sometimes I just have times when for whatever reason my symptoms are worse than usual. Some days I can wake up and feel relatively like a normal functioning human being, but some days I wake up and can barely get out of bed. And lately I’ve been having more of the bad days than good. I seem to be on the upswing now, but it hasn’t been a great time.

I’ve made my peace with my illness but I’ve never gotten good at talking about it. Writing about it on the blog definitely helps with me learning to communicate about my illness, but I try not to talk about it unless I have to.

Sometimes I feel like two people- one who is optimistic and energetic and loves going out and doing things, and one who just wants to stay home and take a nap. And honestly, I think that is something that most people can relate to, whether or not they have a chronic illness. We all try to present our best selves to the world, but we’re not our best selves all the time.

Lots of bloggers will tell you that there is a lot of pressure to present your best self on the blog. The less I feel like my best self, the less I feel like I can share my projects with people.

So, enough of that. I’m me, and I’m not always my best. I’m going to be getting back into blogging, and I’m going to share the things that inspire me.

I hope that you’ll like what I decide to write about now, and I’m going to try to be even more true to myself and my passions. And I’m excited!

Lots of love from your fellow procrastinator,

Susie

The post Maybe You’ve Missed Me appeared first on Pins and Procrastination.

Caregivers are essential to any community. Being there for people during hard times is not only difficult, it is sometimes a thankless job. That’s why it’s important to find ways to let caregivers know just how much we truly appreciate them.

Some of you know that I’ve lived for years with a chronic illness, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). I’ve been insanely lucky to have many amazing caregivers over the years. The two who have done the most work are two of my favorite people, my mom, and my husband.

My mom, Lisa, was my main fighter during the worst years of my life. She took me to countless doctor’s appointments, researched alternative and holistic treatments, and stood up for me when I didn’t know what to say. There is a lot more awareness and education about POTS now (not that we don’t have farther to go!), but 10 years ago when I was diagnosed, we had an incredibly difficult road. We went from specialist to specialist leaving without answers.

She spent hours and hours putting together an application to Mayo Clinic, which is where I was eventually diagnosed. And at every appointment she was there to speak for me and say “I know something more is going on here and we won’t stop until we have answers.” When we did have answers, she helped me to reach out to organizations to raise awareness and tell my story. Her persistence in telling my story has led to multiple people reaching out to us that ultimately were diagnosed with POTS because of reading about my experience. She has literally changed lives, beyond my own. I could never do enough to give back to her.

Lars has taken up the mantle of being my primary caregiver now, and he couldn’t do a more wonderful job. We both seem to know each other better than we know ourselves, and he often realizes that I’m not feeling well before I do. He is always there to help me on days when I struggle, regardless of his other commitments. Despite his limited experience with the medical world before he met me, has learned my treatments and triggers and the reality of living with a chronic illness. He reminds me to advocate for myself and advocates for me when I can’t do it myself.

Lars and I lived with my parents for a few months last year. I had one day where I woke up with one of the most terrible migraines I’ve ever had- the dreaded horrific migraine that I luckily only get about 1-2 times a year. But on those days I absolutely cannot function and spend the entire day on the bathroom floor. They can last more than a day if I don’t get some more heavy duty medication that I don’t have at home.

On that day, I had both my caregivers there by my side. Lars brought me a pillow while my mom called my doctor. They actually argued over who would take me to the doctor, even though they both had to work that day. Lars won in the end, and he made sure that I got some relief that day. My caregivers are amazing.

And their caregiving didn’t stop at helping me function- they have been incredible with emotional support. This can be one of the most difficult aspects of being a caregiver. A lot of people are up for the task of helping someone function or complete tasks, but being there to help deal with the emotional stressors that chronic illness creates takes someone special.

I can’t think of a better thing to be thankful for this holiday season than the caregivers in my life.

That’s why I am so excited to be partnering with Create the Good to spread awareness for this amazing caregiver appreciation- 25 Days 25 Ways to Care. You can nominate caregivers in your life for a chance to win gift cards ranging from $25-$500 dollars. To nominate someone, all you have to do is submit a short video (less than 60 seconds) explaining all they do to care for others.

One Grand Prize winner chosen by a panel of judges will get to choose a charity of their choice for a donation of $2500.

So if you know an inspiring caretaker, nominate them today! It’s the perfect way to let them know just how appreciated they truly are. You can learn more about official Contest Rules here.

The post Giving Back to Caregivers appeared first on Pins and Procrastination.

I’m all about self-love and self-care. I don’t think you can overemphasize the importance of your relationship with yourself- I mean, it lasts your entire life!

That’s why I love finding ways to add a little extra joy into my day. I try to do this in so many ways; taking time to play with my adorable dog, procrastinating on pinterest, or doing a homemade facial mask.

I always try to do plenty of things that make me smile and feel a little more upbeat, especially as the seasons change and things get colder and darker. My latest favorite way to add joy into my day is with Tazo® Tea.

I like to take a moment to enjoy myself during that afternoon slump. You know it- right around 2 or 3 o’clock. My brain and body just start to move a little slower. Tazo tea is the perfect pick me up that helps me avoid the glum that comes in my afternoon slump.

Recently, my husband Lars started a new job working from home some of the time, and it’s been an adjustment for us. Usually I’m home working by myself, but now we are trying to get our routines in check. We both hit our afternoon slump around the same time.

A few times we have let it get to us- I mean the couch is so close and comfortable and there’s so many things recorded on our TV. But enjoying a cup of Tazo tea together helps us enjoy our day a little more without getting off track.

Tea is the perfect pick me up for us. A little sweetness, and sometimes a little caffeine, let’s be honest, make me feel invigorated and ready to get back to being productive. Having a joyful moment sipping on one of Tazo’s delicious blends has made our routine more seamless, and more fun. It takes just the right amount of time to brew and enjoy our tea while talking together, and we always feel more invigorated and joyful after.

Tazo has seriously delicious tea blends. My favorite is Passion®, because I love the sweetness of it, and I am a big fan of herbal teas. Lars loves the Zen blend. The lemongrass and spearmint added to green tea are a fun unexpected flavor that tastes amazing. And I love the classic Awake English Breakfast for when you need a stronger caffeine kick!

Don’t just take my word for it- you should try these blends yourself!

If you want to bring a little more joy into your routine, you can find Tazo tea blends at your local grocery store- or check out Tazo.com to find where you can find Tazo in your area.

The post Finding Joy in the 3 o’clock Slump appeared first on Pins and Procrastination.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love me some coconut oil. I use it all the time! In food, in skincare recipes, and for my hair as well. There is reason for the hype. But I’ve been sensing a trend lately… a new miracle oil is emerging. Avocado oil!

And it makes sense. Avocados are not only incredibly delicious, but they are packed with nutrients. Like coconut oil, the oil is made from the flesh of the fruit and not the seeds, so it is very nutrient rich. It’s the new oil to look out for, and here are some reasons why:

1. subtle flavor

If you’re going to be cooking with an oil, avocado oil has a much more subtle flavor than coconut oil. It doesn’t overwhelm or change the flavor of your recipes.

2. high smoke point

Have you ever been cooking with oil and noticed it starts emitting lots and lots of smoke? That means the oil has reached its smoke point. Oils with a high smoke point can withstand higher temperatures before they start spewing smoke. Avocado oil has a smoke point of about 500°F whereas coconut oil has a smoke point of about 350°F.

3. doesn’t cause acne

According to lots of people, coconut oil will help get rid of your acne. But that isn’t quite accurate. Coconut oil is highly comedogenic, which means it has a high likelihood of clogging your pores. I learned this the hard way. It has the highest comedogenicity rating possible, a 5.

Avocado oil is much less comedogenic, so it’s suitable to use on your face if you are more acne prone. It has a rating of 2. That being said, comedogenic ratings aren’t perfect, so your skin may react differently. Personally, my skin loves avocado oil.

4. rich in beta-sitosterol

Beta-sitosterol is a plant ester that we have found to be highly beneficial. It is used to lower cholesterol and prevent heart disease. Some even claim that helps prevent cancer, though I’m always more cautious to parrot those claims. It is also said to boost the immune system.

5. liquid at room temperature

I’m probably not the only one who has experienced some frustration with coconut oil’s reactiveness to temperature. It is solid at room temperature, but if it goes slightly above (76°F), it becomes liquid. In the summer my coconut oil changes form frequently, leaving me with difficulty controlling the texture of some of my homemade beauty products. But avocado oil is liquid at room temperature, so it wont change the texture of your products if it gets a little hot in the room.

6. monounsaturated fats

There’s a lot of debate right now about whether or not saturated fats are bad for you. For years we were told to eat less saturated fats because they increase your blood cholesterol level, but some people are now saying that’s inaccurate. It’s always a fun balance trying to figure out what nutrition guidelines to stick to.

That being said, coconut oil is very high in saturated fats. Avocado oil is low in saturated fats, but high in monounsaturated fats where are supposed to be the “healthy” good fats because they don’t raise cholesterol levels. Interpret this however you like- but if you avoid saturated fats, coconut oil isn’t your friend.

7. skin penetration

Coconut oil, while great for your skin and highly moisturizing, leaves your skin feeling quite greasy for a while. Avocado oil is absorbed more quickly by the skin, so you are left with less of a greasy feeling.

8. enhances absorption of other nutrients

A study in the Journal of Nutrition found that consuming avocados and avocado oil helps your body absorb carotenoids. Carotenoids are a nutrient humans can’t produce themselves, so they have to get it from fruit and vegetable sources. So if you eat a little avocado oil at the same time as your carrots and sweet potatoes, you reap more of the benefits of those foods.

9. vitamin E

Avocado oil is high in Vitamin E, which is great for your skin. It is supposed to reduce aging and be highly moisturizing. I frequently add vitamin E oil to my beauty recipes, but the ones that have avocado oil are getting even more!

so what do you think?

Now I’m not saying I’m going to throw coconut oil out of my repertoire, because I do still love it. But avocado oil is quickly making its way up my favorite ingredients list. If you haven’t tried it yet, give it a go!

get yourself a little avocado oil

The post 9 Reasons Why Avocado Oil is the New Coconut Oil appeared first on Pins and Procrastination.

Living with chronic illness is hard. If you’re reading this post, I don’t have to tell you that. I don’t know what the hardest part of it is- the loss of a sense of self, the inability to do the things you love, the pain, the isolation, and the lack of independence are all pretty hard to deal with. But today I wanted to talk about something specific. The lack of understanding that we as a culture have for people with chronic illnesses makes it very hard to navigate the social world. With one paradox in particular.

You know the phrase damned if you do, damned if you don’t? When you have a chronic illness, this phenomenon is unavoidable. Too much exercise can land you in a world of pain, but not enough can lead to deconditioning. Too much medication can cause dependence or wreak havoc on your body, but too little is unbearable to live with. And the one I’m talking about today: if you act sick, you must be exaggerating, but if you act happy, you must be feeling good!

When you go to your doctor and act as miserable as you feel, they see you as a hypochondriac. When you go to the doctor with a smile on your face, they don’t take your symptoms as seriously.

When you hang out with friends with a glazed look in your face and need to be laying down all the time, you come off as a high maintenance attention seeker. When you hang out with friends acting happily and being perky, you come off as someone who feels great.

I get this all the time from people who I care about dearly. Seeing family on a good day, someone will remark, “oh, I’m glad you’re feeling better!”. It’s a perfectly nice thing to say- there’s just one problem. The underlying assumption in that statement is that you actually ARE feeling better. “Better” is a pretty tricky term for people with chronic illnesses.

But like I said, living with chronic illness is hard, and I almost never feel “good.” Better for me might mean I don’t feel like I’m going to pass out every minute I’m standing and that my head pain is at a bearable level. I still need to lie down and rest. I’m still taking pain medications on a regular basis. I’m coping- not better. At a semi-functional level. Chronic means ongoing- which means I may never get “better.”

But that doesn’t mean I can’t live my life. If I’m feeling good enough to be out and about, I’m going to smile through it. I’m a happy person. I can feel happy emotionally while my body is screaming at me to lay down in a dark silent room.

But in the days before I honed my ability to smile through the pain, there was a lot of talk. People basically questioned whether I was actually sick, or just trying to get attention and miss school. I looked a lot more like I felt- hence I must have been exaggerating or faking. Doctors suspected I was just some hysterical teenager.

I lost friends because I didn’t know how to navigate the social world. When I felt good enough to be out and about, I looked fairly normal. But if I pushed myself to be out when I didn’t feel good- people didn’t want to be around me. And I was judged for looking good some of the time and sick some of the time. I didn’t know how to advocate for myself.

Now I don’t expect people to read my mind. When someone remarks that I look great and they’re glad I’m feeling better, sometimes I just roll with it (after all, I’m using enough energy just to be there, let alone explain the complications of chronic illness to every person I meet). But if they’re someone who I think will be receptive and I’m feeling up to it, I will explain that I’m not actually better, I’m just trying really hard. They always get this surprised look on their face.

I never know if I should give in to my impulses to rub my head and put my feet up, or ignore it and keep a smile on my face. I do varying levels of both, with varying responses. I can’t speak for everyone with a chronic illness, but I pretty much never want attention drawn to my illness, because it is uncomfortable ground to cover socially.

How are people with chronic illnesses supposed to act? I haven’t figured it out yet.

We need to change the way we perceive chronic illness. Chronic means ongoing. Chronic means there might never be a cure. Chronic can mean lifelong. It means that some days you’ll look better than others.

So please stop assuming that people are either exaggerating or must be better. It isn’t an either or situation. There’s no black and white- everything is gray.

When you ask me how I’m feeling- don’t give me a look when I tell you the truth. Don’t judge me for missing an event last week if I’m able to show up today. Don’t hold me to my appearance. Don’t get upset when I do show up in sweatpants and need to sit down the whole time. Don’t get upset when I do show up in a dress and am happily interacting with people. Keep an open mind.

The thing I’ve learned most since having a chronic illness is to have empathy for everyone. You have no idea what they are going through. So that’s the principle I’m going to advocate for here. If you give people the benefit of the doubt and assume everyone has good intentions, the world is a much nicer place to live in. Try to think of everyone as a human being that has a complex life with lots of struggles. Because we all do. We all are complex.

I’m not exaggerating and I’m also not better. But that’s okay- that’s just part of my life. Thanks for understanding.

The post The Social Paradox of Living With Chronic Illness appeared first on Pins and Procrastination.

There’s nothing worse than trying to trug along through your day when you have a miserable cold. Even just some sinus congestion can feel so uncomfortable and just distract you all day. Sure, it’s winter, but it doesn’t mean you have to just sit in discomfort and blow through 10 kleenex boxes a day. These easy to make shower soothers will help you breathe more easily when you feel sick.

You know how good it feels just to take a shower and breathe in some steam when you have a cold? These shower soothers make that feel ten times better than that, if you can believe me! They are so refreshing and really do ease that icky congestion.

They’re so simple to make too!

Ingredients:

• Baking soda: The main body of the disks, helps keep them fresh and retain smell
• Citric acid: Creates the fizzing effect
• Corn starch: Makes the shower disks hold their shape
• Epsom salt: Helps you feel more hydrated and helps relieve sore muscles
• Eucalyptus essential oil: Opens your airways and helps with congestion
• Water: Binds everything together

You can see in the picture above an example of the clumping you should see when you add water to the mixture. If your mixture looks this clumpy- you’ve gone slightly too far! So use this as a precaution- stop slightly before this point.

All right, I think you’re ready to find out how to make these suckers.

You can see in the picture above how much my shower soothers puffed up. I definitely added too much water, which made them expand more. So make sure to use your water sparingly. If you use too much all the fizziness will be used up before you even get a chance to use these in the shower!

And let me just say, you want the chance to use these in the shower. Using one of these made me feel like I was in a spa. The eucalyptus is so relaxing and refreshing.

I’m not saying I’m looking forward to getting a cold, but I do love having an excuse to use these. Eucalyptus is definitely one of my favorite essential oils. It is really great stuff. I always use it to help me breathe when I have a cold.

So there you have it. I bet you didn’t realize how easy these would be to make! So you really have no excuses… go out and make some yourself!

Supplies Used in this Post

The post Homemade Shower Soothers for Colds and Congestion appeared first on Pins and Procrastination.

I’ve spent my life trying to develop strategies to deal with my anxiety. At 3 years old I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, commonly known as ADHD. My ADHD was so loud that it took until I was 18 for anyone to even notice that something more was going on inside me: I am incredibly anxious. It took years of introspection and therapy for me to even realize it. I’ve come to learn that everyone struggles with anxiety differently. So through my lifetime of dealing with anxiety- I’ve worked on strategies that help me cope, and these are my best ones.

Anxiety isn’t rational. It’s chemical. It takes over your brain.

This is gonna suck. I’m so not excited at all. I don’t want to be social; I don’t want to deal with people. I wish I could stay home and just watch TV. My heart is already going 1000 miles per hour. Ugh, my palms are sweating. My face is getting red. Everyone will be able to see I’m freaking out. They all don’t like me already. I’m not going to have any fun. I’m gonna lose all this valuable time I could have spent resting at home, where I’m safe from unexpected obstacles. Ugh, this week is gonna suck. Everything just sucks.

PAUSE

Breathe.

Where are these thoughts coming from?

They’re coming from the negative energy that flows through me. It affects every part of me. It makes my skin sweat, my face turn red, my hands fidget, my heart race, my stomach jump, it makes me worry incessantly, but worst of all: it gives me a feeling of dread mixed with fear that takes over my entire body. This energy is called anxiety. It is always present in my mind, body, and spirit.

Currently, there is no cure for anxiety, only treatments that help with the symptoms. Drugs can definitely help some people, but a lot of the time they have negative side effects. Drugs or not- I’ve spent my entire life working on these methods to help me deal with the constant anxiety in my life. These are my four best strategies.

1. Self-Talk

Self-talk can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s all a matter of if you let your anxiety take the wheel of your mind or if you take it yourself. I have literal battles in my head between my rational calm thinking and my anxiety. It’s an eternal struggle but the more you practice, the easier it gets.

The beginning of this article has an example of my self-talk ruled by anxiety. When I find myself on an anxiety-driven thought stream, I do exactly what I did in this article. PAUSE. Breathe. Then I ask myself a question about the rationality of the situation.

My go-to question is usually “what is the REALISTIC absolute worst thing that could happen?” really focusing on the realistic aspects. For example, let’s say I was driving about 10 mph over the speed limit and a cop started to pull me over. “Oh my gosh, I’m going to be thrown in jail. This is terrifying. I’m in so much trouble.” The anxiety starts to take over my body. PAUSE. Breathe. “What is the realistic worst thing that could happen?” “I’m only speeding; I’m not doing anything else wrong.

The worst that can happen realistically is that I’ll get a ticket. Maybe multiple depending on the officer. Everyone gets speeding tickets. You’re not going to jail. Everything is going to be okay.”

Putting a real world boundary on anxiety can really make a HUGE difference. My heart rate instantly starts to slow down the second I realize how much my anxiety dramatized the situation.

2. Communication with Friends and Family

Everyone in my life knows I struggle with anxiety. When my anxiety takes over, they know what it is but it’s still difficult for them to see me like that and they don’t always know how to respond. Some of the time it feels like no one understands my anxiety and no one can help me with it. But what I’ve learned is that the people you love want to help and they can IF you let them.

When I start to have an anxiety attack, my emotions go on a roller coaster. First, I start feeling nervous and negative about everything; usually I can win the battle there and my anxiety retreats. But if rationality doesn’t win there (probably because of uncontrollable outside factors) I start to get angry. My anger is destructive and scary and powerful. It’s also the hardest time for me to rationalize and calm down; not that it isn’t possible. The anger is so strong that it soon wears me out and is replaced with sadness. I start to cry.

The signals I’m sending from my emotional roller coaster are clearly mixed. So my friends and family don’t always know HOW to help me and it is my job to educate them. It is very hard to think, let alone communicate, rationally when you’re having an anxiety attack. When I am calm again, I reflect on my attack and what could have helped me. Then, it is my responsibility to communicate to my loved ones what they can do in the future to help me.

The hardest part is figuring out what they can do to help. Anxiety comes in so many forms: I have my constant anxiety that I feel every second, then I have my anxiety about certain situations, and then I have my emotional roller coaster of an anxiety attack. It’s hard to specify what you need for all these different situations and feelings. It’s confusing.

Most of the time, all I need is some support, preferably accompanied by a hug. A little “I love you. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out.” can make such a difference.

When I’m having an anxiety attack I feel like I am alone and I am carrying the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

Knowing someone is there to help me carry that weight is sometimes all I need to calm down. When I’m deep in an anxiety attack, it may take me a few minutes to realize my loved ones are supporting me because I’m at my most irrational. At that point, I may walk away. I usually come back after the sadness hits and can apologize. There are times however, that the anxiety attack was just too draining and I need until the next morning to have some clarity. My family knows this. Because I have communicated what I need to them, they are able to help support me.

3. Just Do It

Anxiety isn’t just in my mind. I feel it physically. When something makes me anxious I feel it first in my spine and chest. It feels like a paralyzing tingling, comparable to when your leg falls asleep. It makes my body tense up and my thoughts go on a whirlwind. The tingling makes its way from my torso to my arms, legs, and then finally out through my hands and feet.

Yes, I said paralyzing tingling. Anxiety can be immobilizing. One of the most immobilizing types of anxiety is anticipation anxiety: being nervous about something coming up. There are so many times that I know I have to do something but for some reason the thought of making the steps to get it done is overwhelming. It makes me avoid my obligation completely.

To get through this kind of anxiety, I have adopted the Nike philosophy: Just do it. I know it’s harsh, I know it’s hard. But sometimes it just has to be done. Anxiety is forever present, and if I let everything that made me anxious prevent me from doing it, I would never leave my bed.

Every time I say to myself, “Ugh, just do it!” and I actually get something done, I feel on top of the world. My self-confidence increases from facing my fear, I’m happy that the obligation is over and done with, and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The more you face your fears, the easier it gets because you know you can do it. Self-confidence is so important when it comes to anxiety and life in general. You have to believe you can beat the anxiety in order to do it. The more you practice winning little battles, the sooner you’ll win the bigger ones as well.

4. Smile and Laugh

Smile. Right now. Just smile. Not a little one, a HUGE smile, your happiest. Now hold it there. Do you feel a little happier? Even just a smidge? Smiling is my tactic for my constant anxiety. A smile can literally make anxiety retreat. Laughing makes you win the war. (Physically smiling actually makes you feel happier– it’s science!)

Most people think of my smile and/or laugh when they think of me. This is because I smile and laugh as much as I possibly can. The happier I am, the less I’m focusing on my anxiety. The more I’m enjoying and fully in a moment, the less my anxiety is questioning it. Let yourself laugh as often as possible. A laugh takes up your entire mind, body, and soul, which is exactly where anxiety lives. A laugh can be your greatest tool.

During an anxiety attack, I try to ask myself, “Do you want to feel negative and anxious or do you want to be happy and have fun?” I know I prefer to be happy and have fun. But making the choice to be happy and pushing your anxiety out of the way can feel like an apocalyptic war. I promise you, you can do it. Sometimes the anxiety is so seductive that you want to give in. But fighting for happiness is worth it. When I’m having an anxiety attack, my thoughts are on a negative, catastrophizing spiral and a laugh can almost always break that spell.

“Peace comes from the acceptance of the part of you that can never be at peace. It will always be in conflict. If you accept that, everything gets a lot better.” This inspiring quote is from Joss Whedon’s commencement address at Wesleyan University. I think it perfectly sums up the key to anxiety. When I accept that my anxiety is forever present and I know I can handle it is when everything gets a lot better. That is my peace.

The post How to Deal with Anxiety: 4 Strategies to Help You Conquer Your Anxious Thoughts appeared first on Pins and Procrastination.

This is a post that isn’t easy for me to write. If you read my post about living with an invisible illness, you know how far people with chronic illnesses go to hide what is going on with us.

Well, if we’re hiding it, we aren’t having a productive conversation. We aren’t helping increase awareness. We aren’t making it easy for people in our lives to understand.

So today I’m going to get pretty vulnerable and bear my illness to you. I’m going to go through what a typical day looks like for me. It’s not like this every day- sometimes it’s way better, and sometimes it’s way worse. But for all you people out there who have loved ones with chronic illnesses, maybe this will help you understand. Only about 5 people in my life have seen what my actual typical day looks like, so this isn’t easy.

The illness I have is called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). Having POTS means that your autonomic nervous system doesn’t function correctly, especially when you are standing. If you want to read more about it, here is some info. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty, but to help you understand this article more, some of my symptoms include: racing heart rate and low blood pressure when standing, difficulty changing positions quickly, nausea, difficulty with digestion, migraines, dizziness, chronic fatigue, and plenty of others.

I’m going to talk about spoons in this post. Spoons are representative of energy for people with chronic illnesses. It’s based on the Spoon Theory, which is one of the most brilliant pieces of writing ever about chronic illnesses. So make sure to read it, it is worth your time.

So here goes the day….

9:00 Am- Wake Up. Spoons: 15

No alarm. Disrupting my natural sleeping and waking cycles is a surefire way to set off a migraine. I open my eyes and adjust to the light. I open my phone and check emails and messages. I then start the process of standing up, because I need to get to the bathroom STAT. Apparently the three times I peed in the middle of the night were not enough, so I gotta go.

But standing up isn’t simple for me, especially after laying for so long. I mentally prepare myself to prop myself up a bit. Then I move into a sitting position, slowly. I sit for a few seconds, maybe a minute, before I stand up. When I stand my head pounds a little, typically, and my vision goes a little blurry. But I push through it and walk to the bathroom. Success! I brush my teeth and then head back to bed.

9:30 AM- Spoons: 14

Surprised that standing up to go to the bathroom loses me a spoon? I’m not. I’m used to it.

I prop myself up in bed and start checking my blog and social media. I respond to comments. I look over my editorial calendar for the week. I go on pinterest and browse a little for some inspiration.

I’m starting to get hungry. Or maybe just nauseous. It’s sometimes hard to tell. I walk the 30 or so steps to the kitchen to pick out some food. If I’m feeling pretty good I’ll make eggs, but today I’m feeling like I can’t stand for long so I eat some granola and yogurt- quick and easy. Sometimes just walking to the kitchen makes me so nauseous that I lose my appetite. It’s easier for me to eat with my legs up so I often eat sitting in bed.

I keep working on my blog, maybe edit some pictures or a post.

10:30 AM- Spoons: 13

Although I’ve been managing pretty well so far, the headache that was creeping behind my eyebrows is getting worse. I’m so used to having a headache that I often don’t notice it at first. When I start getting really irritable and feeling like simple tasks are really difficult, I realize how much pain I’m actually in.

So now it’s time to weigh my decision. Should I take medication? The earlier I take it the more it helps. But I don’t like to take it if I can avoid it, so I might wait a little longer to decide if it’s really here to stay. Do I give myself a toradol shot, take a toradol pill, or take a naproxen? If I take the naproxen and the headache gets worse, it’s always a bad idea because you can only take it every 12 hours. The toradol usually upsets my stomach. I can only give myself a shot 4 times a week, so is this migraine really bad enough that I can use up one of those valuable times?

I decide to put off deciding a little longer. I am having trouble concentrating through the pain so I look for something to watch on netflix to distract me and hope that it gets a little better.

11:00 AM- Spoons: 11

I am frustrated with my migraine and I want to know what’s causing it. I didn’t overdo it yesterday did I? Or did I eat something I shouldn’t have? Have I not been drinking enough water? I check my weather app and realize the pressure is a little on the low side today. So there’s my answer.

Deciding to wait to take the medication has cost me an extra spoon. I opt for a toradol pill and take it with some water. Sometimes I need a snack because you can’t take it on an empty stomach.

12:00 PM- Spoons: 9

The migraine is really taking it out of me. I’m trying to work but having a lot of difficulty. I took some pictures of a project I’m working on for a blog post, but just maneuvering the camera was pretty exhausting.

I look in the fridge for some leftovers. There aren’t any. I don’t have a lot of energy to make something that requires a lot of work, so I make some pasta with pesto. I know I should be eating more protein.

By the time I’m done eating the medicine is helping a little more.

1:00 PM- Spoons: 7

Making the pasta and working on my blog have been pretty exhausting. I think it’s about time for my nap. I don’t nap every single day, but I probably nap about 4-5 times a week.

2:30 PM- Spoons: 8

I have a few etsy orders to make. The nap was a little refreshing so I decide that I will make them now. I mix up the ingredients and take breaks sitting while monitoring the melting and stirring. I usually listen to a podcast while I work.

I always have fun making products and I’m excited to see them come together. Once the orders are done I’m pretty oily and messy. Taking a shower will cost too many spoons so I just wash up and change into yoga pants, a t shirt, and a zip up hoodie. Pretty much my daily uniform, plus or minus pajama pants.

I also don’t think I have enough spoons to put all the packaging and shipping together for the orders, so I decide I will do that tomorrow.

3:30 PM- Spoons: 6

I head back to bed with my laptop and start editing the pictures from earlier. I find it easier to edit pictures first and write the blog post second most of the time. Standing up to work on the orders made me pretty dizzy, so I have to take breaks from editing the pictures to let myself settle a little. Sometimes I put on my glasses hoping they will help with the dizziness, but they never do.

So I push through it like usual and try to get as much done as I can.

4:30 PM- Spoons: 5

Lars and I both really like it when I have dinner ready when he comes home from work. It means I will have at least one good meal that day and neither of us has to wait until we are hangry to eat. Don’t worry, Lars alway does the dishes.

Since I haven’t had really healthy meals today I decide that I should make dinner. Dinner is usually some sort of poultry and vegetables, and usually a salad as well. I also really love making things in my slow cooker. I make some chicken and sweet potatoes, a yummy classic and super easy to make. Although the meal is easy, it still takes a lot out of me.

5:30 PM- Spoons: 3

Lars comes home from work and we eat dinner. We don’t have any plans tonight so we talk about whether we should do some chores and errands, watch a movie, maybe go out and do something. We usually decide to stay in because by the time he comes home I’m usually pretty low on spoons.

So we decide to watch a movie, but it’s one I’ve already seen before so I decide to work on my blog post while we watch.

6:30 PM- Spoons: 1

My medicine is starting to wear off and the migraine is coming back. After eating and cooking my body is feeling pretty worn out. I ate sitting up at the table, which costs another spoon (as opposed to eating reclining on the couch or bed). I really don’t want to take more medication, but I decide to because I’m almost out of spoons and pushing through the pain is kind of out of the question at this point.

7:00 PM- Spoons: 1

We watch the movie in bed so I can be most comfortable. (but one of these days we will get a comfortable couch so I like hanging out in the living room more).

Watching the movie with a migraine and working on the blog post cost me another spoon, so I’m out now.

8:30 PM- Spoons: 0

The movie is over and it’s time to wake Falafel (our pet hedgehog). Even though I’m out of spoons I need to be a good hedge-mom so I know I have to play with her.

I coax her out of her tshirt and give her a towel to stand on. Lars and I play with her and feed her treats but she is feeling like a grouch and trying hard to hide. So we decide to let her play in her maze, which is her favorite thing.

We sit around and talk for a while, checking on Falafel, who has fallen asleep in the maze.

9:30 PM- Spoons: -1

I bet you didn’t know spoons could get negative. What that means is that I’m borrowing off of tomorrow’s spoons. I don’t know how many I’ll have tomorrow. 15, like today, is pretty average, but playing with Falafel pushed me over the edge. I decided it was worth it, and I hope I don’t regret it tomorrow. I weighed the options and since we have leftovers from dinner I can probably get away with not making dinner tomorrow, so I can save on those spoons. Or maybe I will put off packaging the etsy orders another day. I’ll find the spoon savings somewhere.

10:00 PM- Spoons: -2

I get ready for bed and change into pajamas. Brushing my teeth when I’m already so low on spoons cost me another one. Spoons are relative, so the less you have, the more it takes to do simple activities.

Lars and I get into bed and talk for a while. I fall asleep somewhere between 10:30 and 11.

And then it will be tomorrow.

The dangerous thing is when you continually borrow the next days spoons. Today, I borrowed 2 spoons from tomorrow. But if tomorrow there is a bad storm or who knows what else going on, I may wake up with even less spoons than expected. I’m hoping to get an average amount of spoons (about 15) but I know I already borrowed 2 (bringing me down to 13). But if tomorrow is a bad day, I might only wake up with 9 spoons, and I’ll already have used 2 of those, leaving me with 7. Borrowing spoons is a huge gamble.

People with chronic illnesses are always told to push ourselves. What people don’t realize is that we already are. But you can only borrow off of the next days spoons for so long before the day that you wake up with no spoons at all. Pushing yourself is a balancing game, just like everything else we do. So I push myself trying to be as independent as possible and get stuff done, but there comes a point when pushing yourself is hurting yourself. And it isn’t always easy to find that point.

I don’t mean for this to be a sad article.

I’m actually a very happy person. Some of you may read this and notice how isolated I am. I spend most days at home alone and only see Lars at night. But those are my average days. Lars and I usually see his family once a week and my family once a week. I see my friends 1-2 times a month and Lars’s friends 1-2 times a month. Once in a while we have a busy social weekend and it takes me a few days to recover. I’m not completely isolated. Although, compared to a healthy person, it might really seem like it.

I work really hard on having a positive outlook and I use all different kinds of strategies. And it works for me.

I am happy with my life. It may not be what I imagined when I was younger, or what most people think of as a happy and productive life. But for me, I can find value in small things. Like days when I have enough spoons to leave the house and go for a walk. Or when Falafel does something particularly cute. Or being lucky enough to have found the love of my life and have such a great support system.

So don’t feel sorry for me. I am really happy. What I want for you to get out of this article is a better understanding of a day in the life of chronic illness. Living with limitations has certainly taught me to judge others less, and I guess that’s what I’m hoping you will get out of this. Before you judge someone with a chronic illness for not working, think about what their life is like. People who meet me when I’m out and about on a good day don’t know that I spend about 80% of most days in bed. They don’t know how hard my body is working to stand and talk to them.

So have compassion for the people in your life, because you don’t know what they’re dealing with. Whether it’s a chronic illness (physical or mental), a family problem, a traumatic experience, or anything else, you have no idea what they are really going through. They probably don’t know what you are going through either! We can all stand to employ a little more empathy in our lives.

Thanks for reading! If you liked this post, you should also check out 15 Things Not to Say to Someone With a Chronic Illness

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